Any incident or pattern of incidents of controlling, coercive or threatening behavior, violence or abuse between those aged 16 or over who are or have been intimate partners or family members, regardless of gender or sexuality.
These can encompass but are not limited to the following:-
Destructive Criticism – verbal abuse, shouting, mocking, name calling, verbal threats.
Pressure Tactics – Threats to withhold money, disconnecting phone/internet, taking away the car, threating to report you to other agencies e.g Social Services unless demands are complied with, threatening suicide, lying to friends and family, telling you that you have no choice in decision making.
Disrespect – Putting you down in public/in front of others, not listening to you, taking money from you or refusing to help you.
Breaking Trust – Lying to you, withholding information, jealousy, having other relationships and breaking promises.
Isolation – Monitoring calls, telling you where you can and can’t go, preventing you seeing friends or family or shutting you in the house.
Harassment – Checking up on you all the time, allowing you no privacy, turning up at your place of work, embarrassing you in public and not allowing you to go out alone.
Threats – Intimidation, shouting you down, destroying your things, using violence, threats to kill, threats to harm the children or animals or threats of suicide.
Sexual Violence – Using force/threats or intimidation to have sex or perform sexual acts, having sex when you don’t want it, forcing you to look/watch pornographic material or forcing you to have sex with others.
Physical Violence – punching, slapping, hitting, biting, punching, kicking, pulling hair, pushing, shoving, burning, strangling or stalking. All of these can also be used against children and pets as well as family and friends.
Denial – Telling you that the abuse doesn’t happen, blaming you for the abuse, publicly being gentle and caring, crying and begging for forgiveness and saying that it will never happen again.